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Hi-ho, hi-ho, off to the mall I go

Sunday, December 14 2003 @ 01:28 PM EST
Contributed by: Rory
Views: 1443

Holiday mall shopping at it's most frantic element. The complete guide to procrastination.

Well, it a week and a half until Christmas, and I just started shopping today. I pulled in and found an excellent parking spot at the furthest point to the entrance. I trudged through the freshly dirty sludge left from last night's snow, and entered the mall. During the holidays, any and all malls are bedlam. It's insane! I scrambled just to get out of stores, let alone in them. A few I even had to enter just to get past the crowd stuck in the corridors.

Being so late, of course only the cream of the crop remains. Any items left of value, is broken or ruined. Most likely a victim of rage ridden women tearing at it as if it was the last bit of nourishment on earth. I found some worthless items to give people, that they will no doubt throw in a closet or attic, if they even keep them.

Then is check-out. Sweet Lord!! Everyone is pissed off in check-out. You'd think they'd be happy, they found something, and they're getting the hell out, but no. Perhaps it's the fact that they're spending money on others. Possibly others they don't care for, like in-laws. Whatever it is, it's like a starving dog getting ready to eat. Don't talk to them. Don't touch them. And, for the love of God, don't make eye contact! Fuck!

Then you finally get up, and realize, even the cashier is pissed. Understandably, dealing with all the morons during the holidays has gotten to the individual. I can feel for this poor soul. Yes and no answers appease the beast.

Before you know it, you're on your way, and with little or no scars. Sans the scars made in your bank account. Ahh...the holidays. Aren't they grand?

Merry Christmas!

Hi-ho, hi-ho, off to the mall I go | 76 comments | Create New Account

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Hi-ho, hi-ho, off to the mall I go

Authored by: Anonymous on Friday, December 19 2003 @ 06:25 AM EST

I hate Christmas shopping.
Another reason is that it is always like 400 degrees inside the mall, so if you wear a coat, then you die of sweat, or if you dont you have to freeze your ass off walking to the door from your car.
What a bunch of horsecrap!
Chesh